Find a Man to Love you Just the Way you are? Here's How

By: Peter Hector

Don't hesitate to show him the real you.

Men are not the only ones who pretend to be who they're not during courtship. Some women deliberately suppress certain traits and habits about themselves for fear of appearing less desirable to a man. Others may not even be aware of their actions, and instinctively but unintentionally conceal parts of their character during the early stages of a relationship. This fact alone is sometimes responsible for early break-ups between couples. People who believe they have found their ideal partner soon find out; always too late that they were mistaken.

Vickie 33 is an attractive, bright well educated brunette. She says.

“As I reflect on my past relationships, they all had one thing in common. Most of the men I dated seemed to lose interest in me soon after I said yes to a steady relationship. The pattern was the same; at first they all seemed to be highly motivated to be with me. But it's as if I became less desirable as they got to know me better. It was only after my third boyfriend announced to me that he wanted to end our relationship, I began to wonder maybe I was the problem.”

Some women especially those who men find stunningly attractive are aware that men seem more interested in their looks than who they really are. This fact in itself is not new, beautiful women always attract men, but it's then up to the women to unveil other aspects of their character. In our fast moving society, this is easier said than done. Here's why. You knock him off his feet with your stunning beauty. In you he sees the woman he always wanted. How fortunate it would be for him if only you would give him the chance to prove he is your ideal man. He begins to pursue you relentlessly. If he is like most men, he tries to please you in every way by doing the things he believes you like, such as shopping, dining out, theatres, parties and casinos.

You are flattered by this new found attention and of course you enjoy the activities. Most men believe that attractive women are swamped with dating options and in order to win the woman a man would have to outdo other would be competitors; this is not always true. So after a few months of intense courtship, you become convinced he's in love with you. But does he know the real you? Yes, a man falls in love with the glamour and excitement that goes with courting a physically and socially attractive woman. Usually he focuses on satisfying his sexual fantasies and his desire for conquest.

But most of us know that this excitement could be short lived, more so after a conquest. No matter how great the sex turns out to be, the fantasy soon wears off. This is not to say that the man no longer finds the woman attractive, more than likely he still does. But in addition to sex, a man needs to know that his woman possesses other qualities needed to hold his interest. If you do not take the time to show him other sides of your personality in the early stages of the relationship, he may feel less and less motivated to remain in a relationship with you.

Five things you can do to hold his interest.

1. Show him the real you in the early stages of your relationship before he looses interest.

2. Spend less time on conventional dating activities such as nightclubs, parties, restaurants and theaters. Instead, invite him to join you in some of your daily activities like jogging, morning walks, even introduce him to your volunteer activities at the local community centre. 

3. Find out if he can satisfy your emotional need for conversation by creating situations that lead to one on one discussions not only about yourselves, but also on topics of mutual interest. If he pays attention to your comments and offers opinions of his own, there is a good chance he enjoys and shares your need for regular conversation.

4. Arrange some of your activities to include a few of your close friends. A man can learn and appreciate much more about you when he interacts with you in your own environment. 

5. Finally, do not say yes to a steady relationship until you are sure that he knows the real you. Make sure he discovers your other delightful and exciting qualities; those that are likely to keep his interest and sustain a great relationship long after the fantasy of early courtship is over.

Peter Hector is the author of the book Love is No Guarantee . Visit his website at: www.loveisnoguarantee.com and find out what you need to know before you fall in love. Subscribe to his mailing list  to receive a FREE chapter from His book Love is No Guarantee.